Counseling prior to engagement is crucial. Research shows that serious breaks can trigger post-traumatic stress disorder among those who have broken hearts. Not to mention the divorce rate currently isn’t exactly encouraging for couples.
But why should people who aren’t even married be hopping into therapy together? Shouldn’t they still be in the throes of puppy affection?
Pre-engagement counseling shouldn’t be just for those struggling. It’s for couples who see an exciting future together and wish to make sure they have the right instruments in place to make an unbreakable marriage.
A lot of religious couples undergo engagement counseling to ready themselves for a long-term relationship. Of course, you don’t have to be religious to gain from couples counseling prior to wedding or engagement.
Therapy for engagement helps couples Pre-engagement counseling develop techniques for resolving conflicts, improve communication efforts, and control expectations.
Why is pre-engagement counseling better than counseling for premarital issues?
Pre-engagement counseling works the same as before marriage counseling: to assist strengthen the relationship.
Pre-engagement counseling offers the advantage over pre-marital counseling, in that there isn’t a set timeframe.
Instead of trying to resolve your problems before the wedding date approaches you can have the time and space to talk about your emotions with your spouse.
Engage therapy is a means for couples to strengthen their relationship and work towards a healthy marriage.
Another benefit is that there is no actual pressure.
If you’ve been told by a professional are and your partner aren’t compatible, you don’t need to worry about cutting off an engagement in public or causing a rift with your family by cancelling a wedding. There are no ‘break the date cards to mail out.
5 advantages of pre-engagement counseling
Pre-engagement counseling is an excellent tool to help couples build a great relationship together.
Health Research Funding published a study that revealed that 30 percent of couples who sought counseling prior to they got married were more successful in their marriage rate.
1. See the little things
Couples often attend marriage counseling before determining if they’re the right couple.
A strong partnership is built upon compatibility. Yes, there is a tendency for opposites to attract, and different views can lead Arrangement Tips to partners becoming more patient and open-minded. However, in some ways, having the same values and morals can make it easier to begin in your union.
Some of the pre-engagement counseling questions you’ll be asked during counseling sessions include:
- What does the definition of fidelity and commitment appear to you? What is your opinion on cheating?
- Do you plan to have children? If yes How many and within what period of time?
- What are you hoping for in your children’s education?
- What are your expectations about sexual activity?
- Are you of the same faith? How important is that faith for you?
- How do you remain committed when your partner isn’t to support you?
- What are your plans for staying?
- What are your goals for the future?
- What is your financial situation? What do you think of your partner’s financial situation? If you are a parent, can your partner be able to continue working or would they prefer to stay home with the child and take care of the child?
- How important is family/in-laws on your list of priorities?
- What do you want from an engagement and wedding to come?
A lot of couples overlook incompatibilities since they are in love and maybe hope that their partner will change their mind on key issues one day.
Counseling for couples prior to engagement can help them discern the traits and perspectives that can make their marriage stronger, as well as those that could cause them to be unsatisfying.
2. Set boundaries that are healthy and healthy early
Boundaries are an excellent thing in relationships. They tell spouses where they are at and can help them become more understanding and respectful partners.
Engaged couples can talk about their sexual and emotional boundaries during therapy.
Couple counseling prior to marriage is a great time to discuss your personal boundaries. This crucial topic can be handled by your counselor without feeling too imposing or uncomfortable.
3. Create and maintain intimacy
The importance of emotional intimacy is as important as physical intimacy in the future marriage. Research has shown that the longer couples stay together, they are more likely to value emotional connection over sexual fireworks.
It has been demonstrated that emotional intimacy is a great way to ease stress and enhance the well-being of your partner.
Through fostering and sustaining emotional intimacy at the dating stage and establishing emotional intimacy, you’ll prepare yourself for a long-lasting and secure marriage.
4. Create realistic expectations for your marriage
It’s all about partnership. It’s about two people joining their lives through the promise to love and support one another. It sounds lovely, but it’s not necessarily an easy thing to do.
Counselling can assist couples in setting realistic expectations of what an ideal wedding will appear and feel like prior to when they tie the knot.
A few examples of unrealistic expectations are:
- Passionate sex for the rest your life
- Your spouse’s belief that they will never change
- Thinking all your time should be spent with each other
- Never compromising
- Consider that your partner could keep you whole.
Realistic expectations debunk these myths and help couples remember that marriage does not have to be difficult, however it will not always be effortless.
Couples can enjoy a more satisfying couple if they create realistic expectations about household chores and social life outside of marriage.
5. Learn to speak
Communication is the foundation of any successful relationship.
In the engagement process, couples learn how to communicate effectively. This involves learning to be able to argue fair and compromise as well as listen.
Without good communication skills Couples can become emotionally distant or fall back to tactics that can hurt their marriage (such as freezing a partner out, or reacting emotionally or saying hurtful things during an argument.)