Marriage means sharing everything, right? According to a growing number of married couples, it doesn’t mean that they should do everything together. What happens to the whole “until death do we part” thing when you can fly roundtrip for a reasonable price? Is it possible that individual vacations are indicative of a bigger issue? Or should we all fly solo more often? Three pros were interviewed-Matt Lundquist LCSW, Dr. Kimberly Moffit and Justin A. D’Arienzo Psy.D. is a clinical psychologist to get to the bottom on the separate vacation phenomenon. For more fascinating insights, read on.
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It’s completely normal.
Moffit says, “It’s perfectly normal for a married couple choose to take a different vacation.” Why? They are supposed to be enjoyable. Lundquist adds, “Different people enjoy different kinds of things.” It doesn’t have be that way. And how could it?-that the couple always enjoys the same things. If your idea of a vacation is a disaster for your spouse, it’s not a good idea to put a halt on the other’s celebration just so you can take a picture.
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You should be happy when your partner is happy.
Separate vacations may work for you, but there is a better reason. And it’s not because the heart grows fonder. Lundquist says that a loving relationship is built on the ability to find joy in your partner’s happiness or enjoying what they do. It is the opposite of jealousy. Both partners can find joy in a trip even if one of them is going.
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Moderation is the key.
Moderation is important when flying solo. It’s also important to understand why you are taking separate trips. He says, “If you’re considering going on vacation with your spouse to get away from them, it may be a good idea to reflect on your relationship and maybe seek professional help.” Your spouse should be your best friend. You should also choose who you go to and with whom you recharge and relax.Moffit agrees with the sentiment and says, “While it is healthy and normal for couples to take vacations apart from time to time, I would recommend that they plan to spend at most one vacation per year together to focus their relationship.” A romantic vacation, similar to a planned ‘date night’, can help couples stay connected, keep their dreams and goals in focus, and make new memories.
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